coffee and dreams…

I decided that I was going to use this year to take a back seat on making the decisions for my life’s path and let God show me where He wants me to go…

As I mentioned in my last post, its not looking to music-related, not at the moment anyway!

It is amazing how much I have learned about my character just from being in a full-time job for 8 months. I am organised, efficient, stubborn, hot-headed, well mannered, courteous, a perfectionist, impatient…all in one day …the list goes on and is a mixture of positive and negatives! But they are all driving me in the direction of a Masters in Business Management!

I have very quickly grown to love my job. Working in a coffee shop, making people coffee and being able to chat to our customers and share a friendly smile with most of them is a joy and has given me the desire to continue to want to work in coffee shops for possibly the rest of my life, and who knows, maybe one day…i’ll…open…my..own….

 

greensleeves

also…

i didnt think i’d miss uni as much as i do! I actually miss research for essays and writing out orchestration and studying film music!

it makes me a little sad! everytime i read someones fb status from Magee about essays and orchestration and choir…i get very nostalgic!

1 week down…

So, thankfully things settled down a little as the week went on! The electricity went out on sunday night…but i was too tired and excited to really worry because graduation was the next day.

and what a day it was…

It was so good to be with everyone again and celebrate the last three years and that chapter of my life! One other thing that made it particularly memorable and special was the man who presented me with my degree…

Yes thats right…the very lovely, charming, James Nesbitt!

And so now that I’ve graduated, i have to say I’m finding it particularly difficult adjusting to life back home. It is hard going from being surrounded by friends and being free to come and go as I please,  to coming home and being more accountable to what I’m going and where I’m going. And what’s even more strange is living in this house on my own and feeling somewhat lonely. Yes, the space is nice, but I do miss my family a little and just having other people about the place. The animals just don’t quite cut it!

I think what I really need is to just be in a routine for a while. Even though I sorta hate routine, I need some sort of organisation and normality in my life. Roll on August! Back home and working for a few weeks then off for a few weeks! I dunno, I guess I’m just feelin a little lost at the minute! I don’t feel like I have any direction. I guess when I knew I had a job to go straight into, I didn’t think about how unsettled I’d actually feel when I left uni. I though tI was sorted! I am I guess – job-wise! But settled-ness and happiness wise…not quite yet!

Time…it’ll take time to adjust! And my prayer is that God knows. He has drawn out my future. It’s already sorted! I just need to seek…

I also enjoyed a wonderful catch up, several cups of coffee/hot chocolate, a bowl of soup and a movie with someone who has encouraged me and inspired me in more ways that she’ll know! I love talking to her because she is a fantastic listener and always has something to say about the dramas I find myself in! The most memorable thing that she has ever said to me is that ‘itll be ok’. No matter what happens, ‘it’ll be ok’ and its true. God is in control. He knows what’s going on and thats all I need to remember! Have faith in Him and … yep…’it’ll be ok’ and every time I think about this phrase, her voice echoes in my head, and it just makes it seem all the more real and comforting! It is great to have friends who genuinely care, no matter how often we may see each other! These friendships are very much a blessing in disguise!

Anyways, I’m really feeling like I’m getting the flu! So i’m off to bed! My body is tooo sore for words and my nose and face just feel completely bunged up! horrible!!

goodnight my friends…

greensleeves

x

a few videos for download :)

My brother has kindly uploaded some videos of my performance…didnt really wanna out them on youtube though…so, if you really really want, you can download them from the links below and have a little look/listen!

Hypnosis

Donizetti

CPE Bach 1

CPE Bach 2

Mad Hatter

and hey, if ya watch them…let me know what ya think!!

greensleeves

ps…my dad recorded these…hence the major close ups that occur!!…mort!

:D

i did it…

i got a 2:1

greensleeves

this is it…

Where have the past 3 years gone?!

Tonight…is my last recital! Probably the biggest deal in the whole of my university life! 30 mins (or well…33 mins lol!) of playing the flute and sweating like I’m at the gym, not that Id really know because  I don’t go to the gym, but I imagine a good work out would produce the same amount of perspiration as playing the flute constantly and fairly actively, with the addition of nerves and all the the rest of it thrown in, will!

Nervous?! YESS!!!

Excited?! … getting there?!

looking forward to the relief?? most definitely!!

sad that it’ll be over?! yeah

The end of my uni life is very very much in sight! Which is scary but at the same time a little exciting! I’m stepping out into the slightly unknown! Yeah ive got a job in a coffee shop, but that is short term! I want to use my musical gifts! I’m not sure how, but I guess continuing to seek God in everything I do and committing everyting I do to Him will help me to figure out the next steps…

After having just receiving a text message there wishing me all the best for tonight, and reminding me that God’s already there…It made me excited! I’m excited to show off the gifts that God has blessed me with! Thank you God for music!

Anyway…My apologies most sincere go to C.P.E. Bach and Gaetano Donizetti! You did a great job writing your music, a little to good haha… I have to admit, I have had to cut a few passages out of their beautiful compositions to make it slightly more playable and manaegable!! But…isnt everyone entitled to a bit of artistic license!??!

So…heres my programme…

Sonata in B flat for Flute and Piano – CPE Bach
(i) Allegro
(ii) Adagio ma non troppo
(iii) Allegretto

Sonata for Flute and Piano – Donizetti
(i) Largo
(ii) Allegro

Hypnosis – Ian Clarke
The Mad Hatter – Ian Clarke

I do highly recommend you go and listen to the Ian Clarke pieces, better still, buy his CD! Truly inspiring!!

I’m gonna get my daddy to record my performance…so u never know, there maybe be a little snippet posted at some stage! We’ll see how it goes first!!

hope you’re all well!

from, a nervous, but excited greensleeves!

black dresses and champagne!

one day there was a girl who dreamed that her last formal would be perfect. A long black dress, a sip of champagne and a boy walking her down the red carpet!

ya know its funny that this is something that a lot of girls dream about! never mind their wedding, they think about their last night of uni! the last time theyll be with their friends, the last time they’ll all dance to the one song that will forever remind them of the good times of uni…who knew it could be ruined by one stupid idea of going to the formal with one of your ‘best friends’.

a week of lasts

This is it…my last official week of university! Absolutely canNOT believe it! And it hasnt really been the most pleasant week either if I’m honest. Nor have the past few weeks! I dont really know what I expected but this wasnt really it. Don’t get me wrong, it has been great at the same time! But stress levels are taking over everyones life. I thought I’d been stressed out before this the past few weeks have taken it to a new level! A level where I just cant even focus on the work I have to do! And if im honest I dont have tooo much more to get done, it is just all due in the net 2 weeks! And one assignment I havent started! The dreadline was moved to a week earlier only yesterday so I freaked out about that and got angry! It messed up my plan! I had decided to get the film music essay out of the way and then I would have 2 solid weeks to get musicology done, but..NO! I have a week to do film music and then a week to do musicology! When it comes to essays I hate doing more than one at the same time, coz they completely unrelated beyond belief and I like getting stuck into one and getting it done, then doing the next one! Its just the way my brain works these days! Anyway….

So, Les Mis has been and gone, and what a show it was! Soo good and a sell out all 5 nights that they decided to add an extra night, which, was a sell out as well! Within a few hours of the tickets going on sale I might add!

A lot of the panic and worry about the future, well the near future at least, has been lifted because I have a job! The job I wanted too! I already work there on saturdays but they offered me week day hours for the next year! For the first time in 5 years, I’m going to have saturdays to myself! No more booking them off to fit around my life, they are MINE!

This has been a week of lasts…i had my last ever class yesterday! Last CU meeting! This was a pretty emotional night! I’d love to say my last flute lesson but I still have a few left! Last night of the union tonight! Haha…i’m gonna miss that place! NOT! Last week that everyone in no 33 will be together! Living in this house has been great craic and moving out and saying goodbye is gonna be so hard!

So, this chapter is coming to an end. It has been eventful, exciting, dramatic, overwhelming, emotional, full of happiness, bursting with amazing friends and chats and words quite simply dont describe how im feeling right now!

I’m a little excited about the future, but im also sad. I dont feel overly ready to leave uni! But I guess in a way thats not my decision! Uni has run its course! It is time to move on! To see whats coming next. To say goodbye.

just a holiday with these people to look forward to now!!

(a slightly emotional) greensleeves
x

just…why?!

Life is funny.

And right now I don’t really mean ha ha funny. I mean weird funny. Like…’whats the craic?’ funny. Like…’just why?’ Funny!

I just don’t understand a lot of things right now! Ok so I guess a lot has been going on the past few months. I have had a lot of work on, i’ve been busy with one thing or another and i’ve forgotten to take time to just be by myself. To think about why life is funny? What has happened? Where have things gone wrong? I just don’t feel like life is going overly well right now! I often find myself not happy. Not making the most of my time, and not spending time with God…ever! Mmmm and that is quite obviously the reason I’m not happy…but im stubborn! Ugh!

One other thing that is itching away at my mind at the min is the question of why, when you know someone is hurting so so much, you cant just make things better! Without going into any detail at all, I have a friend who is just heart broken! And it is heart breaking! And I cant do anything about it…and that is so frustrating! I don’t really wanna dwell on it that much because I don’t want to draw attention to it…it is just yet another thing on my mind!

Surprise surprise I have an essay due in tomoro morning. Its not going well…hence the blog rant!

Wagner is also another ting on my mind! I mean who even really cares that he caused the holocaust…apparently! Or that is music is so ethically charged that it is questionable wheter it is even right to listen to it today! Does it really influence todays society?! Personally I dont really think so. As far as I am aware…people dont listen to music in the same way today as they did 150-200 years ago. There are more modern and up to date things that influence society today such as media and television. Opera…who goes to opera anymore?! Its definitely not as accessible. Times have changed!

Anyway…my head is FULL! My mind is racing and I wish I could just focus on my essay!

A not particularly cheerful,
Greensleeves…
x

tell me your thoughts…

I don’t actually expect anyone to have many thoughts on this but i just thought i’d share with you all my essay title that i’m about to start working on…due date 25th feb UGH!!

How far can an opera influence political events?

greensleeves!