thanks jordan… ;)

I got a little text message earlier tonight which spurred me on to write a blog…not that I have much sense to talk but here goes…

Do you know there have actually been so many things I have wanted to blog about over the past while but I feel I’ve lost my ability to articulate well what I want to say!

Ok, so, every so often I find myself going through this mindset of not really feeling like life is real! That my life is real. That I am actually living the life I am currently leading. Does that make sense? It’s almost as if I’m outside of my life watching it but not really taking control of it! I first experienced when I was in second year of uni. There is simply no other way to explain it other than the feeling of watching, rather than doing life!

I don’t really know how to break the cycle! I feel like I am letting this phase of my life pass by, and I’ll start living again come the next chapter so to speak..! And yet, I want nothing more that to take full control! I have fallen into the mundane routine of life…! I am learning everyday that I need to be doing something that it is a little bit unpredictable. Ok, not hugely unpredictable because I am a relatively organised and un-spontaneous person, but I mean the sort of job that has me doing something different everyday!

I’m doing a youth ministry course at the minute and I am loving it and really enjoying learning about youth culture and how to connect and engage in the most effective way possible with young people in youth fellowship and wherever else I meet them. It has also given me a real thirst for youth ministry and that is why I am applying for an internship with the Presbyterian Church for next year. I get the change to do something different (everyday!). I can also see if it is something I enjoy and get a buzz from and could perhaps peruse for the next fews years! I want to be involved in a church and get them excited about young people and get young people excited about church and about Jesus!

I am really praying that God will lead me in the right direction and that I will feel certain and reassured that I am following God’s path for my life. However, sometimes I really struggle to know how to be certain of this but I guess that is a whole other blog topic for a whole other blog entry…

greensleeves

the unexpected

If I’ve learnt anything in the last wee while it’s that the unexpected really does happen, and it happens as fast as you can click your fingers (if you can click your fingers that is!)

So no more that 2 months ago, I fell and tore ligaments in my foot! Something that took on a split second, took me off my feet for a few weeks!

Today, me and Fat Rex had a little accident! I had just come from a fundraising car wash at church for my trip to Kenya next April and I was on my way to the Abbeycentre to see if I could get myself an Ireland Rugby shirt when a car drove into the back of me and FR and we went into the back of the car in front at a set of traffic lights (outside the Valley for those who know the area…). It happened in a literal blink of the eyes, one second I was stopped behind a car, the next second I was rammed into the back of it. Thankfully noone was seriously injured. I have some whiplash, which I can feel getting worse as the day goes on, and FR has a bashed in dent on his bum! Hopefully that’ll be sorted soon and he’ll have a brand new bumper!

A split second for the unexpected to happen…

a very stiff and sore, but thankful, greensleeves!

Jesus changed my life

I am just back from two wonderful weeks in Greystones with a group of amazing people. One of our little adventures was walking from Greystones to Bray over the Bray Head mountain! It was beautiful and full of so many metaphors of the Christian walk. For example, being able to see our destination (which just so happened to be a cross at the top of the mountain) one minute and the next minute it was hidden but dips in the mountain and trees and different things that just got in the way, but we knew it was there and we kept going til we made it! Just like real life I guess. Keeping our eyes on Jesus isn’t always easy, but we know he is always there and when we really look for him, we will find him.

Another one was the fact that there was a group of about 15 of us doing the walk. At some points we were walking alone, other times we were with one or two other people keeping us going and chatting away and enjoying the journey together. Again, just like the Christian walk. Some days, weeks even months, we can feel like we are all alone, noone to talk to or confide in and other times we are surrounded by friends and feel loved and secure.

Anyway, so we were on our way back and I just realised how much God has worked in my heart over the past 2 years since I last did Encounter and to be perfectly honest, every time I think about how much Jesus has changed my life I can’t help but smile. Two years ago I was this person who couldn’t deal with mess in her life. Now, I am getting better at embracing and handing it over to God. Sort of…! emphasis on ‘getting better’…

I have a real sense of ease right now that I am where I’m supposed to be right now! I do have a feeling that I’ll not be in Northern Ireland forever, but for now I am very happy working away in this coffee shop, using every opportunity I get to love people and have a little chat! Who could ask for a better job when you’re just out of uni?! How can I not be thankful and content in that right now?

greensleeves

epiphany

I have to admit I have never really thought about life or Christianity in such a way as this… That when you become a Christian you start living eternally. Eternal life begins the very minute you receive Jesus and your Saviour. WOW! Yes you still go through the trials of everyday life and you have to die, unless Jesus returns before then, but you have the promise of life forever from that very moment!

When I sat and thought about it, I actually didn’t know why I hadn’t thought about it before, I mean it makes perfect sense really. I guess I’d just always thought of eternal life as something that happens when I die…like my reward! But my reward has already started! And as a Christian and follower of Jesus it is my goal and my life’s mission and desire to share him with as my people as I possibly can! Why wouldn’t I want to share that promise and hope with everyone!

I have also never thought in depth about where my citizenship really lies until I was studying Philippians 3 with my home group tonight. What does it mean for my citizenship to be in Heaven?!

Put simply…I am passing through this earth to get to Heaven, where I belong! WOW!

More thoughts on this will hopefully follow…

Greensleeves!

my new found love

As a child, I used to swim every wednesday night without fail! Then when I went to high school I lost my love for swimming! But, recently, I have rekindled the flame!

Work and life is a little overwhelming and stressful at the minute and I now love nothing more than nipping home at the end of the day, grabbing my swimming gear and hitting the pool for a few lengths!

I’m hoping to keep it up…its exercise and its relaxing and it is an unbelievable release of tension and stress and frustrations!

greensleeves!

only the beginning

Wednesdays aren’t the easiest day of the week at the minute. As I sat on the sofa drinking coffee this morning words from C.S. Lewis popped into my head. The guy that put together my granny’s tribute for her funeral is an English teacher and an absolute legend of a guy and he found the perfect illustration to show the hope that we, as Christians, have and must cling to when someone close to us passes away.

Frances Elizabeth Glasgow left her family peacefully an hour before midnight on Wednesday and was welcomed into God’s family gathered around his throne in glory forever.

At the end of C. S. Lewis’ novel, The Last Battle, on the final page of the very last book in “The Chronicles of Narnia”, Aslan speaks to Peter, Edmund and Lucy.
He talks to them about the fact that their lives have ended and that they, with their parents, have gone to the “Shadowlands” or Heaven.
This is what he says:

“The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.  And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them.
And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after.
But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read:
which goes on forever:
in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

Betty has now begun to be a part of this new story.

We can only give thanks to the Lord for the long, full and very special life that Betty lived.  And commend her family into the love, comfort and peace of Almighty God.

 

I love how Lewis puts it. That our time on earth is only the beginning. That can only fill us with hope and excitement for what comes next!

greensleeves

 

I love how God has other plans!

Nearly two years ago, summer of ’09, I did a team in Greystones/Dublin called Encounter! It was one of the most challenging, emotional and heart changing months of my life. This was the tenth summer it had taken place and at the point it was going to be the last one. Then a few weeks ago I heard that there was going to be an Encounter ’11. Immediately I wrote the idea of going off because it was four weeks and too much time to get off work and just didn’t really seem like it was a possibility. Of course, as ever, I didn’t pray about it before making this decision. I just decided for myself it’ll not work out, it’ll be when my bosses are on holiday so I’ll have no chance of getting anytime off work.

Well…this weekend I was at an Encounter Reunion/Retreat! A weekend to recharge and relax while being able to catch up with people, meet new people and chat and discuss how God is working and challenging us in our lives. And of course the plans for Encounter ’11 were mentioned once or twice. Every time it was mentioned a felt a real stir in my heart. Then I discovered that it was actually a week earlier. I immediately started to think and pray about it and I talked at length to the organiser of the programme this year about my experiences in ’09 and about the possibility of going again, not so much as an intern this time but as staff. As someone who has been through the programme before and can share my experiences with this years interns. I got very excited! It is not a certainty yet because I haven’t talked to my boss about time off yet but I’m just excited to see how God worked my heart this weekend! How he made me realise that I don’t get the final say in my decisions! It filled me with a sense of peace and assurance that he has it planned and sorted! I don’t have to worry about what is coming next, whether it be short term or long term!

I read this this morning:

When I embrace God’s journey for me,

• I trust where I am as he navigates me.

• I stay engaged through my obedient relationship with him.

• I savor the hills and valleys of the journey.

• I share the journey with others.

 

This is my prayer…that I will be able to do these things everyday! Submit to God’s ways because his ways are perfect!

 

A very relaxed and happy greensleeves

 

coffee and dreams…

I decided that I was going to use this year to take a back seat on making the decisions for my life’s path and let God show me where He wants me to go…

As I mentioned in my last post, its not looking to music-related, not at the moment anyway!

It is amazing how much I have learned about my character just from being in a full-time job for 8 months. I am organised, efficient, stubborn, hot-headed, well mannered, courteous, a perfectionist, impatient…all in one day …the list goes on and is a mixture of positive and negatives! But they are all driving me in the direction of a Masters in Business Management!

I have very quickly grown to love my job. Working in a coffee shop, making people coffee and being able to chat to our customers and share a friendly smile with most of them is a joy and has given me the desire to continue to want to work in coffee shops for possibly the rest of my life, and who knows, maybe one day…i’ll…open…my..own….

 

greensleeves

farewell faithful friend

 

Well, today marks a very sad occasion in my life because my little car just failed her MOT! Mainly on bodywork which just isnt worth replacing or fixing She has served me well for the past 4 1/2 years and really owes me nothing! I bought her for £800 back in the summer of 2006, mainly to get me learning and perhaps last me a year!

She has made countless journeys  (both in good and bad weather) up and down the Glenshane pass to Magee,

and driven at all hours of the night…

 

and now it is time to say goodbye!

Her last week has been filled with adventures! She has brought me safely to Armagh and to Portstewart…all in the treacherous snowy conditions! We were diverted all over the countryside but we made it!

And as a little farewell, my bosses decided to build a little snowman on er roof this afternoon…

bye bye dear Ellie…its been a good 4 1/2 yrs!

greensleeves

1 week down…

So, thankfully things settled down a little as the week went on! The electricity went out on sunday night…but i was too tired and excited to really worry because graduation was the next day.

and what a day it was…

It was so good to be with everyone again and celebrate the last three years and that chapter of my life! One other thing that made it particularly memorable and special was the man who presented me with my degree…

Yes thats right…the very lovely, charming, James Nesbitt!

And so now that I’ve graduated, i have to say I’m finding it particularly difficult adjusting to life back home. It is hard going from being surrounded by friends and being free to come and go as I please,  to coming home and being more accountable to what I’m going and where I’m going. And what’s even more strange is living in this house on my own and feeling somewhat lonely. Yes, the space is nice, but I do miss my family a little and just having other people about the place. The animals just don’t quite cut it!

I think what I really need is to just be in a routine for a while. Even though I sorta hate routine, I need some sort of organisation and normality in my life. Roll on August! Back home and working for a few weeks then off for a few weeks! I dunno, I guess I’m just feelin a little lost at the minute! I don’t feel like I have any direction. I guess when I knew I had a job to go straight into, I didn’t think about how unsettled I’d actually feel when I left uni. I though tI was sorted! I am I guess – job-wise! But settled-ness and happiness wise…not quite yet!

Time…it’ll take time to adjust! And my prayer is that God knows. He has drawn out my future. It’s already sorted! I just need to seek…

I also enjoyed a wonderful catch up, several cups of coffee/hot chocolate, a bowl of soup and a movie with someone who has encouraged me and inspired me in more ways that she’ll know! I love talking to her because she is a fantastic listener and always has something to say about the dramas I find myself in! The most memorable thing that she has ever said to me is that ‘itll be ok’. No matter what happens, ‘it’ll be ok’ and its true. God is in control. He knows what’s going on and thats all I need to remember! Have faith in Him and … yep…’it’ll be ok’ and every time I think about this phrase, her voice echoes in my head, and it just makes it seem all the more real and comforting! It is great to have friends who genuinely care, no matter how often we may see each other! These friendships are very much a blessing in disguise!

Anyways, I’m really feeling like I’m getting the flu! So i’m off to bed! My body is tooo sore for words and my nose and face just feel completely bunged up! horrible!!

goodnight my friends…

greensleeves

x