so far this week…

…has been rather disastrous!

Let’s begin with Sunday morning. I get up, get ready for church and for once am early and so I’m strolling down the stairs when suddenly I slipt. It was like slow motion…my feet went up in the air, I landed on my coccyx and then my neck jolted back and I cracked my head off the stair…may I add, these are wooden stairs!

Monday, I am working in the gift shop in work, a little change from the coffee shop. A lady comes up to me and asks could I help her with a scarf that happens to be wedged between 2 planks of wood which have been slotted in between the shelves and the wall out of the way. Anyway I start to fiddle around trying not to damage the scarf. I am holding one plank up with my right hand, well, mainly my middle finger, when the lady asks can she hold it while i get a hold of the other plank to release the scarf..the scarf comes free and in the lady’s excitement she lets go of the plank and it gashes my finger and takes a lovely chuck of skin and flesh with it…

Today, I am bringing the sauce containers in from outside. I set them on the chair when the next thing…crash splash…crap!! The tikka sauce fell off the chair and the ass of the tub split and the sauce went everywhere…not a good start to the day! Then I dropped a chocolate muffin, THEN I spilt not one, but TWO mugs of (thankfully not full) coffee all over a table while clearing it!

what will tomorrow hold…

greensleeves 

Jesus changed my life

I am just back from two wonderful weeks in Greystones with a group of amazing people. One of our little adventures was walking from Greystones to Bray over the Bray Head mountain! It was beautiful and full of so many metaphors of the Christian walk. For example, being able to see our destination (which just so happened to be a cross at the top of the mountain) one minute and the next minute it was hidden but dips in the mountain and trees and different things that just got in the way, but we knew it was there and we kept going til we made it! Just like real life I guess. Keeping our eyes on Jesus isn’t always easy, but we know he is always there and when we really look for him, we will find him.

Another one was the fact that there was a group of about 15 of us doing the walk. At some points we were walking alone, other times we were with one or two other people keeping us going and chatting away and enjoying the journey together. Again, just like the Christian walk. Some days, weeks even months, we can feel like we are all alone, noone to talk to or confide in and other times we are surrounded by friends and feel loved and secure.

Anyway, so we were on our way back and I just realised how much God has worked in my heart over the past 2 years since I last did Encounter and to be perfectly honest, every time I think about how much Jesus has changed my life I can’t help but smile. Two years ago I was this person who couldn’t deal with mess in her life. Now, I am getting better at embracing and handing it over to God. Sort of…! emphasis on ‘getting better’…

I have a real sense of ease right now that I am where I’m supposed to be right now! I do have a feeling that I’ll not be in Northern Ireland forever, but for now I am very happy working away in this coffee shop, using every opportunity I get to love people and have a little chat! Who could ask for a better job when you’re just out of uni?! How can I not be thankful and content in that right now?

greensleeves

coffee and dreams…

I decided that I was going to use this year to take a back seat on making the decisions for my life’s path and let God show me where He wants me to go…

As I mentioned in my last post, its not looking to music-related, not at the moment anyway!

It is amazing how much I have learned about my character just from being in a full-time job for 8 months. I am organised, efficient, stubborn, hot-headed, well mannered, courteous, a perfectionist, impatient…all in one day …the list goes on and is a mixture of positive and negatives! But they are all driving me in the direction of a Masters in Business Management!

I have very quickly grown to love my job. Working in a coffee shop, making people coffee and being able to chat to our customers and share a friendly smile with most of them is a joy and has given me the desire to continue to want to work in coffee shops for possibly the rest of my life, and who knows, maybe one day…i’ll…open…my..own….

 

greensleeves

flute lessons?

1 week down…

So, thankfully things settled down a little as the week went on! The electricity went out on sunday night…but i was too tired and excited to really worry because graduation was the next day.

and what a day it was…

It was so good to be with everyone again and celebrate the last three years and that chapter of my life! One other thing that made it particularly memorable and special was the man who presented me with my degree…

Yes thats right…the very lovely, charming, James Nesbitt!

And so now that I’ve graduated, i have to say I’m finding it particularly difficult adjusting to life back home. It is hard going from being surrounded by friends and being free to come and go as I please,  to coming home and being more accountable to what I’m going and where I’m going. And what’s even more strange is living in this house on my own and feeling somewhat lonely. Yes, the space is nice, but I do miss my family a little and just having other people about the place. The animals just don’t quite cut it!

I think what I really need is to just be in a routine for a while. Even though I sorta hate routine, I need some sort of organisation and normality in my life. Roll on August! Back home and working for a few weeks then off for a few weeks! I dunno, I guess I’m just feelin a little lost at the minute! I don’t feel like I have any direction. I guess when I knew I had a job to go straight into, I didn’t think about how unsettled I’d actually feel when I left uni. I though tI was sorted! I am I guess – job-wise! But settled-ness and happiness wise…not quite yet!

Time…it’ll take time to adjust! And my prayer is that God knows. He has drawn out my future. It’s already sorted! I just need to seek…

I also enjoyed a wonderful catch up, several cups of coffee/hot chocolate, a bowl of soup and a movie with someone who has encouraged me and inspired me in more ways that she’ll know! I love talking to her because she is a fantastic listener and always has something to say about the dramas I find myself in! The most memorable thing that she has ever said to me is that ‘itll be ok’. No matter what happens, ‘it’ll be ok’ and its true. God is in control. He knows what’s going on and thats all I need to remember! Have faith in Him and … yep…’it’ll be ok’ and every time I think about this phrase, her voice echoes in my head, and it just makes it seem all the more real and comforting! It is great to have friends who genuinely care, no matter how often we may see each other! These friendships are very much a blessing in disguise!

Anyways, I’m really feeling like I’m getting the flu! So i’m off to bed! My body is tooo sore for words and my nose and face just feel completely bunged up! horrible!!

goodnight my friends…

greensleeves

x

a week of lasts

This is it…my last official week of university! Absolutely canNOT believe it! And it hasnt really been the most pleasant week either if I’m honest. Nor have the past few weeks! I dont really know what I expected but this wasnt really it. Don’t get me wrong, it has been great at the same time! But stress levels are taking over everyones life. I thought I’d been stressed out before this the past few weeks have taken it to a new level! A level where I just cant even focus on the work I have to do! And if im honest I dont have tooo much more to get done, it is just all due in the net 2 weeks! And one assignment I havent started! The dreadline was moved to a week earlier only yesterday so I freaked out about that and got angry! It messed up my plan! I had decided to get the film music essay out of the way and then I would have 2 solid weeks to get musicology done, but..NO! I have a week to do film music and then a week to do musicology! When it comes to essays I hate doing more than one at the same time, coz they completely unrelated beyond belief and I like getting stuck into one and getting it done, then doing the next one! Its just the way my brain works these days! Anyway….

So, Les Mis has been and gone, and what a show it was! Soo good and a sell out all 5 nights that they decided to add an extra night, which, was a sell out as well! Within a few hours of the tickets going on sale I might add!

A lot of the panic and worry about the future, well the near future at least, has been lifted because I have a job! The job I wanted too! I already work there on saturdays but they offered me week day hours for the next year! For the first time in 5 years, I’m going to have saturdays to myself! No more booking them off to fit around my life, they are MINE!

This has been a week of lasts…i had my last ever class yesterday! Last CU meeting! This was a pretty emotional night! I’d love to say my last flute lesson but I still have a few left! Last night of the union tonight! Haha…i’m gonna miss that place! NOT! Last week that everyone in no 33 will be together! Living in this house has been great craic and moving out and saying goodbye is gonna be so hard!

So, this chapter is coming to an end. It has been eventful, exciting, dramatic, overwhelming, emotional, full of happiness, bursting with amazing friends and chats and words quite simply dont describe how im feeling right now!

I’m a little excited about the future, but im also sad. I dont feel overly ready to leave uni! But I guess in a way thats not my decision! Uni has run its course! It is time to move on! To see whats coming next. To say goodbye.

just a holiday with these people to look forward to now!!

(a slightly emotional) greensleeves
x

ear ache!

It been a busy (in a non-busy sort of way) few days! I’ve been up in portstewart for a few days with my mum which was lovely then home and now I just keep finding things to do before I start back to uni which is rather annoying because I dunno wen I’m gonna get them done! But anyways…

Ive been thinking a lot about life (as ever!) and about how there is so much pressure to get a job straight after uni, settle down and I guess start living life! But what does that make the past 20 years of my so-called ‘life’ out to be? Have I not already been living my life? Is life not about the ‘here and now!’?? Yes I think it is…I’ve decided that I need to constantly be reminding myself that I am in my life right now, all the flute practicing, all the essays, all the reading that are part of my degree…that’s my life! All the driving about, all the catching up with friends, all the drinking coffee and diet coke…that’s my life…that’s my life right now! Yeah when I grow up (now i remember ive written about a similar subject before) I will maybe get a job, but right now my life consists of other things…which are essentially in preparation for my job, and the next chapter in my life…but its all part of my life!

cue the cheesey (but extremely ture) cliche….’life’s to short!’ so dont waste it…live every single day to the full!!

John 10:10b – I have come so they may have life, life in all it’s fullness!

I need to start living in the here and now..and no anticapting so much of whats to come..because at the end of the day…its outta my control! and that excites (scares!) me!

I didnt get the job in xtra-vision….awww welll!!!

oh and in relation to the title of this blog…I have a seriously seriously painful left inner ear ache NOT pleasant!

crappy company policies…are they even consistently followed?!

I don’t know if i could get done for slander for slating my previous employer online…but screw it! I’ll just not mention who I worked for, unless you know me then you’ll know who I’m talking about, I havent technically mentioned their name! I just need a major rant about this because I was soooo livid earlier!! Livid to the point of tears!!

Today confirmed for me that I made completely the right decision when I left my last job! I worked there for 3 years and 8 months! A thankless checkout job! So thankless that when I ask them for a refernce I am pushed around from person to person and eventually get told that no, they can’t give me one, it has to go directly to my next employer! They have o hear from them…not me! Like seriously, sort out your management skills, sort out your people skills and sort out your feckin lives!! I hate the place sooo much and that hatred grows every single time I set foot in the place!! I know its wrong to hate things but in this case I find it very difficult to find anything positive about the place! It makes my very insides boil!!! A reference…I mean is it really hard to quickly write how long I worked there and my sick record…because I’m sure that’s really all my next employer needs to know!! And they give me crap about being fair to each employee and having a specific list of boxes to tick?! WHAT?!?!? I don’t give a crap what they write about me…I only worked there once a week…I went in, a scan a few million items for 8/9 hours every saturday and I left for a week…! Leaving time was the best possible feeling each saturday! Theres really not much to be said! But that is crappy screwed up company politics for ya! No consistency whatsoever!! Not one manager in the place says the same thing as the other!! It rattles to the point of near explosion! Ridiculous really because it was only a part time job, but that it how the place made me feel every single week of my life!!

Good riddance!

rant over, hope everyones had a nice day!