1 week down…

So, thankfully things settled down a little as the week went on! The electricity went out on sunday night…but i was too tired and excited to really worry because graduation was the next day.

and what a day it was…

It was so good to be with everyone again and celebrate the last three years and that chapter of my life! One other thing that made it particularly memorable and special was the man who presented me with my degree…

Yes thats right…the very lovely, charming, James Nesbitt!

And so now that I’ve graduated, i have to say I’m finding it particularly difficult adjusting to life back home. It is hard going from being surrounded by friends and being free to come and go as I please,  to coming home and being more accountable to what I’m going and where I’m going. And what’s even more strange is living in this house on my own and feeling somewhat lonely. Yes, the space is nice, but I do miss my family a little and just having other people about the place. The animals just don’t quite cut it!

I think what I really need is to just be in a routine for a while. Even though I sorta hate routine, I need some sort of organisation and normality in my life. Roll on August! Back home and working for a few weeks then off for a few weeks! I dunno, I guess I’m just feelin a little lost at the minute! I don’t feel like I have any direction. I guess when I knew I had a job to go straight into, I didn’t think about how unsettled I’d actually feel when I left uni. I though tI was sorted! I am I guess – job-wise! But settled-ness and happiness wise…not quite yet!

Time…it’ll take time to adjust! And my prayer is that God knows. He has drawn out my future. It’s already sorted! I just need to seek…

I also enjoyed a wonderful catch up, several cups of coffee/hot chocolate, a bowl of soup and a movie with someone who has encouraged me and inspired me in more ways that she’ll know! I love talking to her because she is a fantastic listener and always has something to say about the dramas I find myself in! The most memorable thing that she has ever said to me is that ‘itll be ok’. No matter what happens, ‘it’ll be ok’ and its true. God is in control. He knows what’s going on and thats all I need to remember! Have faith in Him and … yep…’it’ll be ok’ and every time I think about this phrase, her voice echoes in my head, and it just makes it seem all the more real and comforting! It is great to have friends who genuinely care, no matter how often we may see each other! These friendships are very much a blessing in disguise!

Anyways, I’m really feeling like I’m getting the flu! So i’m off to bed! My body is tooo sore for words and my nose and face just feel completely bunged up! horrible!!

goodnight my friends…

greensleeves

x

there’s always gonna be another mountain

Firstly…I hate facebook quizzes that predict your future or whatever and tell you when and how you’re gonna die or how many children you’re gonna have or when you’ll marry etc but today boredom got the better of me and I took the quiz ‘What’s your song for 2009′? and to be honest my result took me by surprise because it just made a lot of sense! Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t fully believe that my life is exactly as this song would describe, nor will I try to fulfill this facebook prophecy and live my life to make it be exactly like this song…but I do think there are some parts to it which are fairly interesting for example…

‘There’s always gonna be another mountain

I’m always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose”

And these lyrics have made me think a lot about my life at the minute. There are always obstacles to overcome and I won’t always get it right the first time, but that’s what life’s about. It’s a journey, with hills and mountains to walk and climb! It has ups and downs! Now that I’m in final year I know it is gonna be tough, it is gonna be hard work and I expect to encounter my fair share of rough and stressful days this year…but its part of the journey of life! The journey of the life God has planned out for me and blessed me with! Long days in the library followed by cosy nights in front of the fire! Every cloud has a silver lining and so I’m taking this song to mean that life is good! Mountains will form but I’ll get over them with God’s help!

Ok so I don’t really agree that life isn’t about what’s on the other side of the mountain…because it is…because eventually at the other side of the mountain which is earthly life, lies Heaven the ultimate destination I am living for and I am excited! Meeting Jesus and spending eternity with Him!

So bring on the mountains!

much love!

sleepless-ness

So the whole ear ache thing…turns out I have an ear infection! Boke!! And with most infections brings tiredness and acheyness which I have been experiencing all day resulting in sleeping most of the day away and now I am unable to sleep! Going from not being able to stay awake to not being able to fall asleep is annoying…it would have been so much more convenient if it have have happened at the right time of day…unable to stay awake at night, unable to sleep during the day! Anyway, where would the fun in life be if it happened the way we wanted it to!?

So…I’ve been lying on my bed for well hours and have now developed this very strange, very annoying eye twitch…a twitch like I’ve never really experience, yeah I get the odd lazy eye when I’m very tired, but never a twitch that has lasted a good hour or so! It’s very weird! But during this eye twitching experience…I’ve been thinking about how amazing the body actually is…that’s a lie I haven’t really but now I am thinking about it! Like do we even consciously think about our next breath?! Or every heart beat? or a sniff? I mean wow! The body does it all for us…God does it all for us! And whats more, how often do we take it for granted!? Personally…everyday of my life! I very rarely think about how i breathe, how my heart beats, how my body digests my food, supplies me with the right energy levels…like the list is endless!

Which leads me to just the general little things in life that I take for granted and go unnoticed…being able to get up in the morning, have a shower, eat breakfast, hop into my car and go wherever I need to go…again the list goes on…but these are things that, if remembered, could make my day so much more positive and so much more pleasant..and oh how the world would be a better place if I was more thankful for the little, unnoticed things in life!

So in the blogworld there is a thing going round called 365…basically the idea behind it is to set up a blog for exactly one year and faithfully (or as faithfully as possible) take time everyday to write about the details of your day that have been positive! The thing that have made you smile and in doing it makes us more thankful for the little (and large) blessings that God sends our way! Of course some days will be harder than others, but thats part of the challenge!So starting 21st September 2009…I will set up such a blog! Hopefully linking it to foreveringreensleeves…because I’ll likely not write in this as often…occasionally but not everyday! I am going into final year after all!

So that is what I’ve been thinking about! I’m looking forward to starting it actually…who knows if i’ll be able to stick it out but it will be something to think about every day! Things I am thankful to God for!

So, watch this space my little blog followers

much love and good night!

prayer

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Phil 4:6-7 (The Message)

This is SO true!

I’ve been thinking a lot about prayer recently and about how I totally go through phases of praying loads, being really connected with God and excited about how I’m hearing him and feeling the presence of the Spirit in my life…then there are a few days, maybe even a week or two where I hardly pray at all and it hits me like a tonne of bricks!

When I say prayer, I mean like really praying ya know, like really crying out to God in thanksgiving and praise and also with hurts and through pain!  Like really seeking Him!

And of course there’s a pattern! When I pray sincerely and honestly, I feel closer to God yet when I find myself saying a quick ‘guilt’ prayer, I find that I am just saying mindless words and not engaging and connecting with God. Praying out of guilt doesn’t work and I know this fine rightly, but it doesn’t stop me starting a prayer with ‘Lord, sorry I haven’t prayed in a while!’Ok yes I know I have to say sorry to God for not including in my everyday life, but there is no point in just prayin for the sake of it! I need to mean my apology and often it just becomes a habit to say sorry, when I don’t really think about how sorry I really am!

But…

…when I dive deep into my heart, and share it with God then the connection I feel is amazing and so so real and so should encourage me to do it more!  But why don’t I? Why is it not consistent? If I find so much enjoyment and reassurance in talking to God, why do I go though these phases of ‘quietness’? And why do I always find myself asking these questions?!

Laziness!! There’s always something better to be doing, right?! Like being on facebook, and sending emails, and writing blogs, and putting commas where they shouldn’t be! HA!

Down right laziness! Letting the devil in and not getting rid of him! When you look at life, sometimes it’s so easy to just…live! Obviously, I’m not consciously saying, ‘Yes Satan, please come in and take over my life and my heart and my thoughts of and actions! You’re very welcome here!’ NOOO!!! It is totally a subconscious thing, which is even scarier! The fact that simple things of the world such as TV, internet, even just sitting doing nothing are all opportunities for the devil to take away from my time with God!

These are things I constantly remind myself of! But as ever, I find myself falling back into the same old pattern! There is no doubt that when I truly seek God in my prayer life I am surrendering to him, to his call to pray and share with him and I do truly know His presence which is so reassuring!

When I sit and think about my day, I see so many missed opportunities to talk to my Father, so in future, instead of writing about the missed opportunities, I want to be able to write about the blessings He has given me through spending more time with him throughout each and every day. I hate that it comes and goes! Making a conscious effort to spend time with God isn’t hard! And yet it shouldn’t even be a matter of ‘a conscious effort’! The more we spend time with God, the more we will naturally seek Him, naturally chat away to Him! That is exactly what he wants! And so, as His child I want to please Him!

Thankfully God is merciful and gracious! And blesses me endlessly! And knows my heart because He gave me it!

I could go on forever about prayer in my life, but I’ll not! I’m just so glad to be able to say that God hears my prayers!

He encourages us to pray instead of worrying! To turn our worries and concerns into prayer!

AMAZING!

I’m sure this won’t be the last time I have a little prayer ramble!

freak me out…

I have just scarred my brain forever!! I think if I ever want to adopt I will forever be remind of thhe movie I have just watched in the cinema! Orphan! It is a very scary movie! Like I dont know what else to say! Really really good, but really really twisted! My friend once made a comment about how twisted the writers of the Saw movies are…well…I think the writer of this movie could give them a run for their money because it is twisted!! A really really cleverly written movie, a little slow which I normally can’t handle but equally measured with scary jumpy bits, your attention isnt really lost because you are glued to the screen for fear of looking round the cinema and imagining that the girl sitting beside you is called Esther and well….FREEEEEEEAK!!!!

Apart from the end of my day, I’ve had a super wee day! Spent most of it with my nana…being spoilt rotten in town!:) She really is too good to me!! We had great chats about God and his love and grace and goodness and faithfulness!! I’m beginning to really appreciate her wisdom, when I was younger, and not really that much younger I must admit, I used to find it slightly annoying and tideous when she started ‘preaching’ to me…but now…I look at it as a blessing, a chance to hear God speak to me!

I have a job interview in the morning…Im gonna hit the hay now!!

night all!!

life’s guilty pleasures!

after a day of literally walking around aimlessly and doing a lot of thinking about life and the future, the near future as opposed to years off in the future, it is nice to sit down in my pj’s and drink a gorge mug of cadburys hot chocolate! and listen to the rain on my window! Sad as this may sound, it makes me feel warm inside! and I love it!

Sometimes it is the simplest little thing like the sound of the rain or a mug of hot chocolate that reminds me that God loves me and he is helping me relax and unwind from a mind boggling day!

northern ireland weather…

The day i need the sun to shine because i’m looking after 2 kids and its cold and dull and looks like its gonna rain! typical eh!?

I love sitting thinking about how God blesses me in small ways, like for example, I have no money and precious little petrol in my car and I get a message from my friend, who i was meant to go pick up in an hours time, saying that she can get a lift to my house to help me entertain these 2 children. Call me crazy but I look at that as a gift from God because he knows my financial situation and it’s in those small ways that we need to believe that God cares for our needs and for us in general! and this then makes me forget about my pennyless-ness and just makes me want to praise him for his faithfulness!