Foreveringreensleeves's Blog

thankful

foreveringreensleeves — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:31:58 +0000

I’m so thankful for friends! And I love that even though I don;t see a lot of my friends on a regular basis, we can pretty much pick up where we left off. I used to hate the whole idea of life being a constant catch up with people, but tonight I had a great catch up with a great friend and it was just reminded how special my friends are to me!

So…friends, near and far...greensleeves loves ya!

and sending you all one of these…

love

foreveringreensleeves — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:51:45 +0000

In work today, I got this picture of true love. There was a couple sitting having lunch together, totally and utterly in love with each other. They weren’t at all ‘all over each other’ or even really overly touchy feely, but they held each others attention, they were the only people or things that mattered to them at that very moment, they looked deeply into each other’s eyes and they looked so contented with each other. It was beautiful. It touched my heart. They were just two perfect strangers to me. But they caught my attention and filled my heart with a strangely warm and fuzzy feeling and gave me hope that love is real and it is out there, somewhere. It got me excited to love, not even just romantically, but to love my family, my friends, my customers…and most importantly, to love Jesus!

That’s what I love about my job. I get the chance to notice how people relate to one another. I get the chance to people watch (one of my favourite pass-times) and take in just how many different personalities there are about the place.

Today, I feel full of love for people! And I want it to continue!

greensleeves

Sun and Moon

foreveringreensleeves — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:19:20 +0000

I was out walking (in the rain) tonight enjoying some ‘me’ time and thinking time. I purchased Phil Wickham’s latest album today so also had a chance to listen to it. It drowned out the noise of the rain beating off my hood anyway…

This song really stood. I want it to be my prayer… it’s called Sun and Moon. Read the words…

If you are the sun, then I wanna be the moon. I wanna reflect the light that shines from you. And if this is war, then I’m gonna draw my sward. This time I know what I am fighting for.

God I wanna let you know I want everything you are. I’m waiting for the morning light to show a fire in the dark. Shine your light. I wanna feel you now. God, I need a miracle. Take my heart. Make it glow. Shine your light from the inside out. I wanna be more like you. If you are the sun, then I wanna be the moon. I wanna be the moon.

If love is a choice, then I need you to hear my voice. I’m the one knocking on your door making all this noise. Whatever it takes, I give it all away. I wanna show my love in a thousand ways.

God I wanna let you know I love everything you are. I’m waiting for the morning light to show a fire in the dark. Shine your light. I wanna feel you now. God, I need a miracle. Take my heart. Make it glow. Shine your light from the inside out. I wanna be more like you. If you are the sun, then I wanna be the moon. I wanna be the moon.

I can’t live a single day without you. I don’t even want to try. I won’t take another step without your light. I need your light.

Life has been strange recently. I have felt distant and disconnected from God. But this song was a reminder to me that I want to be more like Jesus, I want to be on fire…I want to be the moon, I want to reflect the light that shines from you.

greensleeves

assumptions

foreveringreensleeves — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 19:37:59 +0000

This may seem very doom and gloom but I have been struggling with this for a while now, and even more so this week! All I’m going to say is this…people assume that everyone goes to heaven, regardless of their lifestyle…yet, people are not prepared to have a relationship with Jesus while here on earth?! First of all, why?! Do people really just not get the point of Christianity and eternal life in Heaven?? And if not, why not?! Are we, as Christians, not doing enough to help people understand that ok yes, being a Christian isn’t always an easy journey, in fact, more often than not, its hard, but life on earth is a blink of an eye compared to eternity after life!! And second of all, why does God take people before they have made a commitment to him…because does that not essentially banish to an eternity of pain and torture and complete separation from him?! I could go on and on but believe me it would be more round and round than on and on and theres not much point in dragging out my thoughts! … There just seems to be a lot I just can’t quite get ,y head around at the minute!

a confused and somewhat lost greensleeves!

shock

foreveringreensleeves — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 15:44:14 +0000

I just can’t believe it. Hearing the sad news of a tragic accident where a girl, who’s mum I used to work with, has died has made the end of my weekend somewhat difficult. It has left me with a sore feeling inside. Even though I didn’t really know her very well it doesn’t make the reality any less painful and tragic. I don’t really understand the feelings I have right now. They don’t really seem justified because of my very lose connection with her. I’m not even sure if I ever had a prolonged conversation with her, but I am in shock! All I can do is pray for Ammie’s family. I’m not even sure they are Christians, but that doesn’t mean God can’t comfort them in some way!

I think it has hit me in this way possibly because the very thought of death is something I’m finding difficult to deal with because of losing my granny earlier this year. This morning’s news brought on a huge flashback to the night I heard my uncle tell me ‘she’s gone!’ It brought the rawness I feel in my heart. The memory, the feeling, the smell surrounding me, the atmosphere in the hospital that night is something that will stay with me forever.

greensleeves

numbers

foreveringreensleeves — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 19:34:57 +0000

You did not choose me, But I chose you and appointed you yo go and bear fruit – fruit that will last!

John 15:16

I have been challenged recently about the size of the youth group that I help lead in church. But challenged more in a defensive way. We have a small group of about 12-15 kids that regularly attend yf. I constantly feel, though, that I make excuses for it being so small. I hear of other churches having loads and loads of young people and loads of youth leaders and my defense mechanism shoots up immediately and defend and justify why we have so few when really the bottom line is, numbers do not matter!

I am reading a book called ‘Fruit that will Last’ by Tim Hawkins. In one of the early chapters he talks about how very often youth leaders compare numbers with eachother, and generally in secret because generally speaking, and secretly speaking, every youth leader wants a bigger youth group whether they can admit it or not. I’m not saying that having a huge youth group is a bad thing, by no means. Young people are the next generation of the church and nurturing them in a healthy environment where they have a community of other Christians their age is so important. But that’s just it…community! Communities don’t necessarily have to be a large number of people. Aren’t relationships just as important as numbers? Don’t get me wrong either, I would love for our youth group to grow in numbers, but more so in fruit. I long for their relationship with God to grow and deepen and be one that will bear fruit that will last. Fruit is more important that numbers! Then it turns into a bit of a cycle really, the more fruit, the more confidence in God and the more bold they become to step out in faith and reach out to people and not be ashamed of the Gospel!

God doesn’t care how many are in your group, but God cares incredibly about the quality of your fruit.

Tim Hawkins

thanks jordan… ;)

foreveringreensleeves — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:03:17 +0000

I got a little text message earlier tonight which spurred me on to write a blog…not that I have much sense to talk but here goes…

Do you know there have actually been so many things I have wanted to blog about over the past while but I feel I’ve lost my ability to articulate well what I want to say!

Ok, so, every so often I find myself going through this mindset of not really feeling like life is real! That my life is real. That I am actually living the life I am currently leading. Does that make sense? It’s almost as if I’m outside of my life watching it but not really taking control of it! I first experienced when I was in second year of uni. There is simply no other way to explain it other than the feeling of watching, rather than doing life!

I don’t really know how to break the cycle! I feel like I am letting this phase of my life pass by, and I’ll start living again come the next chapter so to speak..! And yet, I want nothing more that to take full control! I have fallen into the mundane routine of life…! I am learning everyday that I need to be doing something that it is a little bit unpredictable. Ok, not hugely unpredictable because I am a relatively organised and un-spontaneous person, but I mean the sort of job that has me doing something different everyday!

I’m doing a youth ministry course at the minute and I am loving it and really enjoying learning about youth culture and how to connect and engage in the most effective way possible with young people in youth fellowship and wherever else I meet them. It has also given me a real thirst for youth ministry and that is why I am applying for an internship with the Presbyterian Church for next year. I get the change to do something different (everyday!). I can also see if it is something I enjoy and get a buzz from and could perhaps peruse for the next fews years! I want to be involved in a church and get them excited about young people and get young people excited about church and about Jesus!

I am really praying that God will lead me in the right direction and that I will feel certain and reassured that I am following God’s path for my life. However, sometimes I really struggle to know how to be certain of this but I guess that is a whole other blog topic for a whole other blog entry…

greensleeves

the unexpected

foreveringreensleeves — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 19:28:58 +0000

If I’ve learnt anything in the last wee while it’s that the unexpected really does happen, and it happens as fast as you can click your fingers (if you can click your fingers that is!)

So no more that 2 months ago, I fell and tore ligaments in my foot! Something that took on a split second, took me off my feet for a few weeks!

Today, me and Fat Rex had a little accident! I had just come from a fundraising car wash at church for my trip to Kenya next April and I was on my way to the Abbeycentre to see if I could get myself an Ireland Rugby shirt when a car drove into the back of me and FR and we went into the back of the car in front at a set of traffic lights (outside the Valley for those who know the area…). It happened in a literal blink of the eyes, one second I was stopped behind a car, the next second I was rammed into the back of it. Thankfully noone was seriously injured. I have some whiplash, which I can feel getting worse as the day goes on, and FR has a bashed in dent on his bum! Hopefully that’ll be sorted soon and he’ll have a brand new bumper!

A split second for the unexpected to happen…

a very stiff and sore, but thankful, greensleeves!

free will

foreveringreensleeves — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 22:02:56 +0000

This post is in response (sorta) to this post which I read this evening and linked fairly interestingly to the topic of conversation which dominated most of tonight’s discussions with my small group from church.

Why didn’t Jesus pull rank? What ‘the chip monk’ said – Free will. However, recently, I have found myself very much struggling with how free will can co-exist with the fact that God has a plan for our lives and the world as a whole…If God has a plan, how can we have free will without predestination becoming a factor…which frankly baffles me to no end!

thoughts very much welcome…

greensleeves

love?

foreveringreensleeves — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 17:04:17 +0000

I am starting to really get a sense that God is trying to tell me how much He loves me! Over the past few days, maybe even weeks, I have been reading things in blogs and in daily devotions that are very much specific to God’s love for me. How he looks past my faults and failures and loves me to my very deepest being.

As a human, I really struggle with this concept. I struggle with the thought of a God who could love me…with an unconditional love. I always feel the need to prove myself to people. Not to make myself feel good, but to just feel accepted. I very much feel that in order for people to love me, I need to earn that love. That it’s not the free love that God offers. And so I am often very tempted to compare God’s love to human love! Ridiculous?I know!…but don’t we all do that at some point in our lives, in our weeks, even nearly every day? I know I do!

I remember back at the start of June when I was at Encounter doing an exercise known as Lectio Divina, which is basically meditating on a passage in the Bible that is spoken out loud by someone and listening to see if a specific line or phrase stands out. The passage that was read on this particular morning was from Psalm 63

O God You are my God

earnestly I seek you

My soul thirsts for you

My flesh faints for you

as in a dry and weary land

Where there is no water

The phrase that stood out for me was ‘I seek you’…and not just for the long term plan of my life but every day, each morning, each afternoon, each evening, truly seeking God. Listening for his voice. I really felt that that was what God was telling me to do. This was a powerful experience and I felt peace and joy right there and then. God was simply asking me to trust him for everything, because he loves me, unconditionally! But how easy it has been for me to slip out of that heart and mind set! To let the everyday distractions and frustrations to take over. To let the world tell me that I have to prove myself. That I’m no good!

I’m just so thankful that God is obviously using various methods to communicate the fact that he does love me unconditionally, and that I absolutely have to cling on to the cross! To the promise of His love! And to remember each and every day to focus, to renew my focus and to keep my focus on God!

This was the daily e-votion from Ronald Ovitt that I received in my email yesterday morning…and it got me thinking about actually how blatantly obvious it is that God is reaching out to my unsettled and somewhat lost heart…The title was the first giveaway!

Unconditional Love

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. — For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:1, 38-39

It is so hard for me to accept the love that God has for me. I want to believe that He loves me with an unconditional love and then I slip up. I fail to do something right, make a mistake, get someone mad at me and my life starts to unravel. The lies begin to fill my head and I find myself hopelessly loss in a system of “works” gone awry. A tyrannical voice banishes me to annihilation. After all, I have fallen from perfection. Does this sound extreme? For so many it is not. We strive for perfection, saying God loves us but in reality we do everything we can to make sure He will love us. We fear that He will reject us if we commit the “unforgivable sin”. The sad truth is, in our perfectionist mindset, every sin is unforgivable. We need to see this for what it is–a lie straight from the pit of Hell itself. The truth is, there is nothing we can do to have Jesus love us one ounce more. At the same time, there is nothing we can do to have Jesus love us one ounce less! Paul’s declaration cuts through our chains, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!” Let the truth of today’s passage set us free-nothing, not even our own mistakes, can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Today, settle it once and for all. Accept the unconditional love that God has for you.

Accept the unconditional love that God has for me! This is my prayer!

greensleeves!