What is Tradition?

here’s another little question for your thoughts to ponder…what is tradition? can or should tradition change? this is my next essay title for musicology…only writing it in terms of irish tradition music.

all thoughts welcome… thanks

13 weeks and here’s a question about consistency…

someone very kindly pointed out to me today that i only have 13 weeks of uni left…ah!

ok so…there is one thing in life that is really baffling me right now! baffling me and annoying the hell out of me…is the lack of consistency in life! more specifically…in university!!

i have blogged about the lack of consistency in the workplace and now…i’m experiencing it in uni! not one lecturer has the same way of marking, the same opinion on a performance or the same expectation of the way an essay should be reference, set out or the accuracy of the word limit! i mean why?! why can there not be one set of rules for university that is followed? why the gray areas? for the past 2 years, i have realised the truth…that lecturers go fairly easy on you, ease you into the degree…then drop a ruddy big bomb shell on you in final year…boundaries are raised..which is totally fair enough…but us students havent got a single notion how they are raised…how much more work we need to do, even if we work our socks off it sees like its not enough! there is no guidance and the previous 2 years almost seem like a waste of time! it kills me to think that i only have 13 weeks left of uni…13 weeks to finish my degree…13 weeks to work my ass off and achieve the best i can…13 weeks to guess what lecturers expect from me…13 weeks to wonder if i;m doing it all right…13 weeks to potentially get it all wrong!!

13 weeks…that is not a long time! the past 11 weeks have flown in!! the past 20 years have flown in…13 weeks…shit!

can ya tell i’m a little worried?! a little frustrated?! a little lost?! a little overwhelmed?! a little…a lot of things!!!!!

ah!

i just needed a rant about my frustrations about consistency again! and about how time is going tooo fast and i feel like im getting nowhere!!!

a little survey…

for anyone who didn’t already answer this via text message…or if you have something else to add…

What is the role of a conductor of an orchestra?

All answers welcome!

greensleeves

the beauty that music can reveal

I was walking back to the house there after practicing and Psalm 23 from Rutter’s Requiem came on my ipod!

It is just amazing how music can bring such real meaning to very familiar words! Very often it is the verses about walking through dark times and the Lord always being with me that i remember most and focus on from this passage, but today…I listened to how well Rutter has illustrated all the verses through his choral writing, and the one verse that stood out to me most was verse 6:

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Amazing! That one day we will be with the Lord in Heaven, no more worrying, no more suffering, no more crying, no more pain, just us and our Heavenly Father! This is a very strong and real promise!

I love how music, being a gift from God, can be used in such a beautiful and helpful way!

Here’s a video of the movement from Rutter’s Requiem!

sorry for the cheesy video…but thats youtube for ya!

greensleeves

strength in weakness

‘Most of  us fear that who we are inside just isn’t enough. So we cover up our honest questions and doubts, thinking we won’t sound spiritual. But in doing this we forfeit out most important asset in evangelism – our real person. Not to accept our humanness means we lose our point of authentic contact with the world. We, of all people, should be offering a picture of what it means to be truly human. Yet it is often Christians who fear their humanity more than anyone else. When we get a look at Jesus, we will see that it is not our humanity we need to fear.’

Rebecca Manley Pippert – Out of the Saltshaker

trust your confusion

ok so go with me as i type, think and get confused all at the same time…

my class this morning was really very interesting. for maybe the first time i actually got excited about an assignment! so i generally hate irish trad music, i don’t really know why, i just don’t really find it very interesting. anyway funnily enough that’s what my assignment’s about. but its meant to be done in an entirely different way that an ordinary essay! so we’ve to keep a journal for the next few weeks on our thought process for each class and our outside work about things we read and the research that we do.

so firstly, a journal? honestly i love nothing more than having a good rant in my journal, writing down what i’m thinking about and how i’m feeling, and thats exactly what we have to do for this assignment, only it obviously has to be in the context of music, more specifically, the irish trad genre! but being able to express freely my feelings of confusion and understanding and how i come to that understanding all in one essay?! wooow!! it’ll be interesting, challenging, but i think one assignment that might actually come naturally. a lot of people in my class are quite angry about this particular assignment because theres no official title to the work, but i think thats perfect! totally self directed learning! obviously, if we’re completely stuck our lecturer is there to give us questions to make us think about issues and what not but still…freedom to dive into the literature and draw on our own thoughts! make the most of it! it counts and it is an honest piece of work that can be so personal and im so excited about it…even though it is primarily and essentially about irish trad music…

trust your confusion because it brings realisation to your thoughts. if we’re never confused, we would never think because everything would be so straight forward and easy…and where’s the fun in that! so i guess its about finding the positives in the confusion.

and…this doesn’t just apply music! when i think about it, when i’m confused about something, i think about it! I know i think about things way too much, and it is generally when they confuse me! but still…its good to think about things!

this post is starting to confuse me!!

its comforting to know that its ok to be confused! confused about anything, because that sets off our thought process and we can begin to work things out and really begin to understand!

this class got me thinking a lot of my faith and about how ‘confusing’ it is! but also, i started to think that it is in the confused moments of my life that i ask questions and seek answers! i question (often) what God’s will for my life is, and right now i just dont know what it is or where my life is goin and i am left (often!!) very confused, but that just leads me to ask more questions, think more and seek God more, which essentially is what i want my life to be about!! seeking God, and especially seeking God in the confusion! I just really love how my musicology class this morning got me thinking about everything in my life, not just ‘music’!

my previous entry poses a very important question…what is ‘music’? what is anything if not merely a term? we use very broad and very wide sweeping terms for things (things being yet another example of this) and this also leads to confusion! being specific about what you are talking about is the first step to working out of the confusion…i think anyway!!

right…im well and truly confused now!! im also sipping lemsip and feelin rather crappy so im off to finish it and go to bed!!

What is ‘music’

when you think of the word music…what do you think of?

leave your thoughts

thanks!

 

imagine if…

…life was a musical!!!

ok so i think i’ve watched to many musicals recently and more specifically too many judy garland musicals

for example the wizard of oz and meet me in st louis.

and they have got me thinking, what if life was a musical!? if every time you had something meaningful to say, you sang it! personally i think this would be an amazing way to live! So you be talking about something fairly serious like…being annoyed that you’re a scarecrow but you don’t scare crows because you don’t have a brain but if you had a brain you’d…and start singing…

or you’re taking a bus (or trolley) and everyone starts singing and dancing

but think about it, it always seems to be that the most important parts of a musical are the songs! everything that is important is sung! worries are made better by raindrops on roses, you follow a yellow brick road and you find a wizard who can give you a new heart, a new brain, some courage and send you back home and well i could go on for ages talking about story lines of musicals, but i’ll not!  it just seems so far fetched and yet something i’d love to be real!! think how much more enjoyable life we be if we could sing about things!

and here’s another little video i’m gonna finish with…its from the journey back to oz and its a little bit of inspiration about not worrying!! i think i should pay more attention to it…

haha…can ya tell im bored tonight!!

greensleeves

how do you not worry!?

Imagine if everything in life went the way you planned it…or even better, imagine if you knew how your life was going to go…what’s coming next?

Recently, (well…this weekend to be precise)…I’ve been thinking a lot about truly resting in God. Finding peace and contentment. I’m not in control, God is! That should be something that excites me, I don’t have to worry about life, God has it sorted! It’s ironic really because this very fact worries me. I’m not in control! Is it not generally human nature to want and need to be in control! I guess in some ways its selfish and arrogant to think that my way is the right way, the best way! It really isn’t. I go about thinking I know best, I can sort myself out, my problems are my problems, let me deal with them my way! But in reality, I haven’t a clue! I haven’t a clue how to not worry…and then that of course leads to feeling guilty about worrying because it is a sin to worry, and its just one big viscous cycle!

But then…a very wise person told me to try ‘the experiment’

’stop trying to stop worrying!’

and so…I tried, and so I sorta stopped worrying about my worry for a while…but every now and again I try to stop worrying and I just can’t…! So…I worry, I pray and I let God deal with it! I am human, I can’t do anything without God’s help, and that is something I am learning more and more every day!

Now I’ve decided I don’t really know where I’m going with this blog entry…I guess in a nutshell I’m worried about the future and not really knowing what’s happening or how to even make constructive plans that are in keeping with God’s will for my life…I know He leads me…I just need to learn and remember that he never leaves me and he has it sorted!

sigh!

i need some diet coke!

the speed of life…

I think I’m going through a bit of a crisis right now! It is week 6! There are only 12 weeks in a semester! I have A LOT of work to do and a lot of practicing to do and the very thought of it is making me feel very sick! I’m sitting in the library about to go for lunch and I have this utterly sick feeling in the pitt of my stomach! Probably partly because I have to perform in class today and partly…well I don’t really know the rest of the reason! I just know I’m finding it very hard to be content and not worry about the future!

My life is gonna change to much in the space of the next year and change scares me…even though it is inevitable and sometimes change is nice…it still scares me! Its funny because sometimes I feel so content and happy, though when I think about it I guess this is when I think everythings going well and life is running smoothly, and I just don’t feel that that is the case right now! Life is rushing away before my very eyes and I’m afraid I’m gonna miss out on something! I’m so wrapped up in getting work done and meeting deadlines and practicing and panicking and worrying and I’m not taking time out to actually reflect on these life events! And thats ironic really because I generally am the sort of person who thinks way too much about minor details of my life…but recently, I’m just in a daze! Going about life really just for the sake of it…and this scares me!

Hmm…typing this has made me realise just how much is on my mind! I need to find priorities! I really need to start including God more in my everyday life…in everything I do. Sometimes I think I am good at doing this, but really, if I’m honest, I don’t include God. I have a quiet time most mornings, but really that isn’t enough! It is just falling into the trap of routine, sticking to my quiet time and everything will be fine!

I have a lot more to say about this but I need to go eat lunch and prepare for my performance! I will likely be ripped to shreads in a ‘constructive way’ of course! BOKE!

anyway…I just needed to get some stuff off my chest and outta my head…for now!!

greensleeves!